I went to see The Artist, as it’s become a custom to go check out all the movies that are nominated for big awards, like the Oscars or Golden Globes best pictures. Hugo, Ides of March, and Midnight in Paris were the only ones I saw out of personal interest, before the award nominations. Some nominations are clearly just political (the movie was bad but plays to the judges’ biases) or were really good but didn’t get as much buzz as the latest Transformers sequel. The Artist falls in the latter category, and for me this was a big surprise.

Here’s a quick summary: The Artist is a silent, black and white film about an actor experiencing the end of the silent film era and the beginning of the “talkies”, or films with sound. When I heard about this movie I couldn’t see how a modern western audience could possibly accept this enough to make it profitable in theaters. Though I’m very interested in making a silent film, it’s not because I think a lot of people would want to watch it, it’s just for me. Plus, I don’t get it when my parents laugh at those super dry movies from the 50′s, so I just knew a 30′s piece would go over my head entirely. I was pretty sold on just catching it on Redbox when the DVD is released, but then I asked myself when’s the next time in my life that I’ll get to see a feature length, silent black and white in a regular release theater? I took the gamble on my $10.50 and was thoroughly impressed!

The acting really did carry this movie from beginning to end. Without sound, the movie really left the audience with nothing but the actors’ emotions to connect with, and that focused heart to heart connection is simply stunning. At first I found myself trying to resist getting into the story, just off of principle, but when the emotions coming across the screen met familiar emotions within myself, I was completely taken in.

The amazing technological evolution happening in the world of moviemaking right now is… amazing! But at the same time, it comes with the anxiety of trying to keep up. I only have but so many real connections and opportunities to get my head wrapped around what’s happening in “the industry”, what’s a fad, and what’s a game changer. I’ve felt the disappointment of spending a year getting good at one thing just to look up and realize I’m way behind on something else that ended up being a bigger deal.

But that’s the art of making a living, isn’t it? Always requiring more creativity, more art. To me, pivoting to stay relevant is an art in and of itself. Best thing to do? Keep being an artist.

I shot this on a Panasonic HVX at 24fps and edited with Final Cut Pro 7 and Apple Motion 4. I missed a major detail on the camera settings the first time around, causing the first day of shooting to be recorded in slow motion. I was able to salvage most of the footage by speeding it up or converting it from 24 frames per second to 29.97 in post. I also realized that not using the Advanced Pulldown to remove duplicate frames on FCP’s log and transfer window allowed me to sync the scratch audio with the music track much easier. The lighting on the green screen and talent required more clean-up in post than desired, but it’s certainly better than 90% of the low-budget green screening I’ve seen online. Lighting was done with gear from CTV, and consisted of some Lowel Riva soft boxes and Lowel Tota broad lights with umbrellas.

I feel like I spent much of 25 lamenting what I had yet to accomplish. When I first came to the revelation of the importance of my relationship with God, about 8 years ago, I read a lot of Old Testament narratives about kings. One of the things that struck me was how young the men were when they became kings. 25 seemed to be a popular age for rising to the call, and that really  put my overachieving into overdrive. I pushed and pressed and strained to try to make things happen, well beyond my years. I knew, I just knew, when I turned 25, my throne would be established in whatever arena I inhabited.

But like I said. When 25 came, I lamented. I was really happy just to be alive. Happy I hadn’t screwed things up enough to completely ruin what little life I had. I was happy I had escaped the age group among Black men that was statistically more likely than others to be killed by something dumb or kill themselves for something dumber. I was happy that I didn’t have any kids relying on me to feed them when I still hadn’t figured out my own life. I wasn’t happy that I still hadn’t figured out who the hell I wanted to be with, and believe me, I was thinking about it a lot. Honestly I felt like I was happy for the bare minimum in life in a middle class kind of way. I took my car insurance discount and kept my disappointment mostly to myself. If you follow a certain private account on twitter, you understand why I say mostly lol.

26. Leading up to my birthday last week, I looked back at what I had accomplished. Not much, but I was wiser, and that meant everything to me. It meant I learned to leverage where I am to get where I want to go. I learned to put my relationships and personal health above all else. It meant that I learned to prioritize things that actually matter. Not that I’m done learning, but simply that I’m learning now. I’m once again applying wisdom and cherishing it like I did before doing so much by a certain age seemed like a big deal.

I’m reconciling things with my family. They’ve gotten the brunt of my ambitions, really the leftovers of my time, if even that. I’m recognizing the limits of my current job opportunities and leveraging the experiences for all they’re worth for however long I’m supposed to be there. I’m giving time to making friends and building relationships that have little to no personal benefit to me. I’m paying more attention to my time and what I agree to use it for or not. I’m taking my business with a little more of a stride than a rush. I want to do it right… this time. Long story, lol.

Last thing: I’m learning patience. Everything can’t happen today, or in my preferred timing. One. step. at a time.

So, I’m thankful for humanity, a realization that I am one, and that that’s not a bad thing lol. Let’s see what happens at 27.

How old are you now? How does that make you feel?