I shot this on a Panasonic HVX at 24fps and edited with Final Cut Pro 7 and Apple Motion 4. I missed a major detail on the camera settings the first time around, causing the first day of shooting to be recorded in slow motion. I was able to salvage most of the footage by speeding it up or converting it from 24 frames per second to 29.97 in post. I also realized that not using the Advanced Pulldown to remove duplicate frames on FCP’s log and transfer window allowed me to sync the scratch audio with the music track much easier. The lighting on the green screen and talent required more clean-up in post than desired, but it’s certainly better than 90% of the low-budget green screening I’ve seen online. Lighting was done with gear from CTV, and consisted of some Lowel Riva soft boxes and Lowel Tota broad lights with umbrellas.

I feel like I spent much of 25 lamenting what I had yet to accomplish. When I first came to the revelation of the importance of my relationship with God, about 8 years ago, I read a lot of Old Testament narratives about kings. One of the things that struck me was how young the men were when they became kings. 25 seemed to be a popular age for rising to the call, and that really  put my overachieving into overdrive. I pushed and pressed and strained to try to make things happen, well beyond my years. I knew, I just knew, when I turned 25, my throne would be established in whatever arena I inhabited.

But like I said. When 25 came, I lamented. I was really happy just to be alive. Happy I hadn’t screwed things up enough to completely ruin what little life I had. I was happy I had escaped the age group among Black men that was statistically more likely than others to be killed by something dumb or kill themselves for something dumber. I was happy that I didn’t have any kids relying on me to feed them when I still hadn’t figured out my own life. I wasn’t happy that I still hadn’t figured out who the hell I wanted to be with, and believe me, I was thinking about it a lot. Honestly I felt like I was happy for the bare minimum in life in a middle class kind of way. I took my car insurance discount and kept my disappointment mostly to myself. If you follow a certain private account on twitter, you understand why I say mostly lol.

26. Leading up to my birthday last week, I looked back at what I had accomplished. Not much, but I was wiser, and that meant everything to me. It meant I learned to leverage where I am to get where I want to go. I learned to put my relationships and personal health above all else. It meant that I learned to prioritize things that actually matter. Not that I’m done learning, but simply that I’m learning now. I’m once again applying wisdom and cherishing it like I did before doing so much by a certain age seemed like a big deal.

I’m reconciling things with my family. They’ve gotten the brunt of my ambitions, really the leftovers of my time, if even that. I’m recognizing the limits of my current job opportunities and leveraging the experiences for all they’re worth for however long I’m supposed to be there. I’m giving time to making friends and building relationships that have little to no personal benefit to me. I’m paying more attention to my time and what I agree to use it for or not. I’m taking my business with a little more of a stride than a rush. I want to do it right… this time. Long story, lol.

Last thing: I’m learning patience. Everything can’t happen today, or in my preferred timing. One. step. at a time.

So, I’m thankful for humanity, a realization that I am one, and that that’s not a bad thing lol. Let’s see what happens at 27.

How old are you now? How does that make you feel?