Entries coming soon:

1. We’re Not on Capitol Hill Anymore, Toto (new church adventures)

2. Adam’s Essentials: Work and a Wife

Oh and if this wasn’t enough of an entry for you, or even if it was, go check out my man Adam Taylor’s blog. He’s getting ready to move to Ethiopia indefinitely to serve the country’s street children population. Definitely a life worth telling about. Oh and this has nothing to do with my second upcoming entry. I mean, you could’ve guessed that, right?

Love is patient! (1 Cor 13:4) Live in Love yall! (1 John 4:16)

It’s time for me to find a church closer to home.  I need to make myself more available and accessible to the people in whatever church I call home. Two and a half years ago all I wanted was to find a church with a good word. Six months wandering through a biblical wasteland, after breaking camp from a church that taught God’s Word, will do that to you. And I found one. And oh, did I learn.

I walked in when Mark started the Chase the Lion series. It was like I was picking up right where I left off [short break to allow eye sweat....] in talking to God about whether leaving my old church was the right thing to do. From that sermon on I got so much conviction and affirmation…

I found out that my intensity to follow the Lord wherever he would lead was not something to be “tamed”, but embraced. I learned that my desire to see things done well and not just “good enough for church” was not a carnal mentality from the world but a  God-given rebellion against the spiritualized mediocrity I’ve encountered way too often. I stopped letting the things I heard in church remain conceptual, and demanded that my heart find a way to apply everything. I changed the way I thought about work, and came to terms with the fact that I was believing I could do more in seven days than God could do with six. I stopped avoiding and running from the burden God gave me for club hoppers looking for what can only be found in Christ. I found that creativity fosters a special connection to the Creator that is to be treasured by the Church, not downplayed or disregarded. Then there were a thousand different one-liners and ideals that never left me from the first time I heard them.

“Never let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshiping what’s right with God.”

“God cares more about who you are becoming than what you are doing or where you are going.”

“God can do more with 6 days than you can do by yourself in seven.”

“Every encounter has the potential to be a divine appointment.”

“Chase the Lion!”

“Everything is an experiment”

“Playing it safe is risky”

“We exist primarily for the people who are not here yet”

and then about a million lines that began with “God is in the business of…”

And behind all that, I was being stretched socially and relationally. Anti-social is like my nickname when I don’t keep an eye on myself. I can get so swept up in my own ambitions, preferences, and personal hangups that I would flippantly toss people to the wayside to keep myself satisfied. Then I started going to church in the city, and somewhere along the line I started caring about people. Like really caring about people. More than my own work or desires or vulnerabilities. I started prioritizing giving my time to others over keeping it for myself. I started making it a point to call, email or Facebook people, or simply pray for them when they came up in my thoughts. I started bringing down my walls so that my brethren around the world could “stand firm knowing that others around the world are suffering the same things” (1 Pe 5:9). I started fighting for friendships.

[I gotta keep this moving to keep my composure....]

But now this is where I find myself. Having to say goodbye to friends who have become familiar with the DeAndre’ that I still see as a stranger in the mirror. At any given point in the week, I’m in DC, to Bowie and Largo, Silver Spring, Temple Hills, northen VA on occassion, and ultimately spreading myself between so many friends and groups and places, that I’m missing out on the one thing  a believer can’t get and be all over the place at the same time: deep and consistent fellowship. Fellowship. Not just the hanging out with friends, go to the movies, a lil Bible study or a cordial “how are you?” passed around at Christian events. But that real, my life isn’t good if yours isn’t good type of fellowship. The kind that does all the casual stuff but isn’t afraid to break away from it to make sure everyone is thriving or at least determined to hang on in their walk with Christ. I’ve certainly had that before, but post-college life has a way of changing the shape of your support systems.

So I have to do this. Not for me, but for the me I have yet to become, and for the people that God wants me to embrace this next step of my journey with. I have no idea where I’m going to end up, but the swelling of my heart at the thought of God’s power and presence at work in people who meet while following His will tells me my passion is changing course, and I’ve GOT to keep up. This desire is God-given, and I can’t shake it (Ps 37:4).

Believe me, I prayed for a different answer, a different way, and I prayed til asking again would be hinging on disobedience. But God is good, He is gracious in giving His kids joy, even when we feel sorrow (2 Cor 6:10). And so while I’m striving to smile, I am smiling.

Hopefully I’ll get the chance to see most of yall before I start my search. If not, I’ll be around. Just obviously not the same way. Facebook, Gmail chat (lol), events in the city or at Eb’s, that’ll still be the same. Oh and my paintballers and film heads —- you know what’s up

grace and peace family. I love you and pray that you would live in His love, deeply (1 John 4:16)

¹⁴For this reason I kneel before the Father, ¹⁵from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. ¹⁶I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, ¹⁷so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, ¹⁸may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, ¹⁹and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

Lately it’s been the theme of sermons I’ve heard, songs I’ve listened to, conversations I’ve had, movies I’ve watched, and things I’ve experienced. It’s not anything new or whatever, but just something usually so rare in my day-to-day that it fascinates me, and for some reason has it direct access to my usually well-guarded emotions (I was “under attack” at the movie, lol). Humble love is when someone expresses their care for another person without any attempt to hold back how much they value that person. It’s the kind of love that leaves that person so vulnerable for a rejection that you would get depressed just witnessing them get shut down.

God’s been indisputably the most unashamed lover of all time (and “before and after” time). I mean really…. who leaves the comfort of the place everyone would rather be, to be with people? PEOPLE. PEOPLE SUCK SO MUCH. Not only did he come down to the “worst place under heaven”, but then he put on this achy, disease-prone, smelly earth suit we call a body. He wrapped himself in veins and connected them to a brain so he could intimately feel every ounce of the pain he would endure. Then in ways no one can understand, he took on the sin of every member of the elect, experiencing within himself the disgustingness of every single perversion of His creation, in order to punish Himself as if he had committed the crimes. And all this for beings that would make Him look like a fool for ever loving them in the first place for several thousand years. Even the angels look at us and then look at God like he married Ugly Betty (1 Pe 1:12-13).

The couple speaking in the Song of Solomon showed this kind of love too. The first time I read it I didn’t care too much about the so-called explicitness of their allusions. I was thrown by how they were able to say how they really felt about the other person, without holding back out of fear or pride. I think it stuck out to me because at the time I was creating a lifestyle around the idea of loving as shallowly as possible, so rejection will just roll off of me. That’s what I was learning from TV, music, peers, and that’s what they are still teaching to billions of impressionable minds as you read these words. “F the world and don’t care about anyone or anything —- then you can’t get hurt, and no one will ever catch you not looking ‘cool’ “.

Obviously on a romantic tip humble love is only safe within marriage. The same way a fire in a house is only a good thing in the fireplace. In the right context, everyone’s happy. Anywhere else… you get the idea. Friends show it by doing things for each other expecting nothing in return. Or even quietly by not eating certain foods or listening to certain music when your friend is on a diet or has a particular personal problem with a certain artist or genre. Or even avoiding certain words that you and your friend have conflicting opinions about. That’s humble love too. Valuing others over your own preferences and comfort. Not life or death issues, just regular, everyday differences.

Nowadays I find myself wanting to know the God who loves humbly, and I’m only able to grow closer to Him by walking in His footsteps. I used to think other people were pointless, I mean not worth a thing beyond what they could do for me. Now, God’s got me actually valuing not just people in general, but solid friendships. That’s absurd to one side of me. Valuing people just for who they are? But it’s true! I actually want to value people! To me that’s crazy, but that’s growing in my heart.

But here is the conflict…

At the same time the old me is fighting to preserve itself. All this giving of one’s self for others’ benefit is like suicide. Or like self-sacrifice. In this world, it’s like skipping through the Maryland Ave NE projects with your arms wide open wearing a vest made of stuffed animals….you’re wearing your memorial. What usually ends up dying so humble love can thrive is pride, selfish ambition, conceit…things strongly attached to the slowly-fading old me. Now, when I find myself fighting to maintain and hold onto the very things the old me despised and feared (authentic relationships with people), it actually takes a lot out of me. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I walked into the last fight with a prayer before me and Jehovah-Nissi behind and above me, and if I’m diagnosing this right, I’m STILL trying to get my energy back. I’ve had some draining experiences before, but I don’t know what this is about. Didn’t think it was that serious. But I digress…it may be withdrawal from this work-a-holic detox I’m going through too.

I really am tired though, so…… yeah.

Love is not proud (1 Cor 13:4). Live in Love yall (1 John 4:16)

PS – Have you ever encountered, or desired, humble love? Ever shown it? What has it cost you?

Today I tried a little harder than usual to be diligent at work. I thrive on deadlines and competency. Right now things are slow and I’m trying to learn software that’s beyond my expertise. Therefore, it’s difficult for me to be gung ho about it like I should. I’m gonna try even harder tomorrow. Maybe post a scripture on the wall in my office about diligence or something…

Met with my boys— I mean the Iron Men today. I realized/remembered today that one of my wider, deeper tensions with the flesh and the new me comes from being relatively unfamiliar with God’s principles regarding romantic relationships compared to what I learned from the world. I’d be doing better with that if I started with a truly clean slate rather than having to be deprogrammed and re-educated.

The Re-Education of Lauryn Hill…. if you don’t have that mixtape, look it up. S he got saved, among other things that happened when she “flew the coop” some years back. I mean she got in her WORD. Check it out you’ll see what I’m talkin about.

Happy Birthday Reggie and Steven! Yall my boys! Proud of yall! Alllll day!

My head hurts. But not in a throbbing, go-lay-down, makes-your-eyes-close-involuntarily, kind of way. It’s just this lingering, hardly noticeable, intermittent nuisance. These types of exceptionally dull headaches usually tell me one thing: I’m bottling something up. What exactly? I don’t know. There are actually too man possible answers to that right now for me to really determine what the real issue is. Let’s break em down:

1) Feeling like I may have hurt the feelings of some girl I’ve never met cuz I seemed…less than interested.. when her mom started talking about “hooking me up”.
2) I’m tired.
3) Going against my nature in choosing to guard and protect difficult relationships rather than forsake them.
4) My car insurance company raising my premium by $148.
5) I’m already wondering how I’m going to get people gifts (or anything for myself) this holiday season, and then I found out about #5.

6) Me mad at myself about #5 because it’s not that I’ll be flat broke or nothin, I’m just being selfish and don’t welcome further financial limits.

So needless to say, I need a nap.

Peace.